toujoursfluer | Appointments Post

[It seems Sanji is destined to oscillate wildly between somber and energetic these days. Right after the return from his mission, he'd been... okay; the closest to normal he'd felt in a long time, and he'd been damn glad for it. Everything still hurt, but it hurt in bearable amounts that didn't steal his breath with every passing thought. Smiling came easier, as did playful banter (and playful irritation), and a whole slew of emotions Sanji forgot he could handle.

And after December the 24th, he'd still be okay. Sorta. It would be hard for anyone to attach the sudden drop in enthusiasm to a particular event, save maybe Law... and one other. A certain someone who'd constantly been on his mind and hadn't contacted him in over two weeks, and the chef was starting to show signs of tear. Damn it.

Still, he goes about his business without reserve, old hat at keeping up appearances, but his expression remains caught in perpetual brooding unless he knows there are eyes watching him.

And as he's alone in House 6 kitchen for the moment, putting together a sandwich for himself, full-brood mode it is.]

Edited 2013-01-11 17:10 (UTC)

[Eyes are always watching, tucked away, hidden in corners, appearing and disappearing in small bursts of petals. She doesn't spy on her nakama. Not as such. But she has taken to checking up on them when they're in the house. Assurance perhaps? Testing the wind? But she's never quite sure what to do with what she finds.

She isn't spying now, in any case. Instead she is coming home from the library after a long day of being absorbed in books that ultimately do not matter. But she reads them because they are there. Because they are something to do to keep her mind active.

She slips quietly in the door and hears someone in the kitchen. She moves on silent feet to see who it may be and spots a serious looking Sanji. She smiles faintly and leans against the doorway]

Good evening.

[That certainly goes far in wiping the grimness out of his expression. He turns on his heel, seeming to float closer without taking a step.]

Robin-chwaaaaaaaaan, one of my great loves~! [If nothing else, his enthusiasm is honest] Do you require anything of me, my beauty? Coffee? Tea? Or maybe a meal that would make angels weep~!

[She can't help but smile. It seems like ages since she's seen this particular dance and it just reminds her how adorable he can be. Of old times, too. (and blue seas)]

Something to drink, I think. Chef's choice.

[She winks at him and goes to sit down at the table, noticing something blue on her shoulder and taking it off. A small blue feather. She can't help but shake her head. She's always finding feathers in the strangest of places]

How have you been, Sanji-kun?

A drink fit for a queen it is~! [He has an idea in mind, too, a recipe he picked up not long ago. He hurries about the kitchen, setting on a pot of coffee and rummaging through the fridge, though he calls out over his shoulder]

I'm taking a day off from work. [Heaven knows he's forgotten what those feel like] The cold's gonna keep most shitheads from braving the weather, anyway. Seventh Heaven should be fine without me.

[He pulls back, armed with sweetened condensed milk and cream, and turning, he prepares to shoot Robin's question back at her. The words get lost somewhere along the way when he catches sight of that feather, though.

He doesn't look angry, only thoughtful. His mouth opens and shoots out a completely different question]

Marco's?

[Is he taking time off. She finds herself looking forward to it, especially if it means he'll be here. She will probably stay home herself if more nakama are around. Winter is the best time for it.

She blinks at the question, wondering why she's surprised that he knows. She hasn't told anyone except Nami but then they haven't exactly been subtle either. Maybe because Marco always seems to exist in a different world than this somehow. Or maybe it's one of her nakama saying his name unexpectedly.]

Mm. Probably. It's going to be more of a problem in spring, I imagine.

[She absently twirls the feather between her fingers. It doesn't sparkle at all and that is somewhat disappointing]

Huh. [Still sounding suspiciously calm about discussing Robin's boyfriend; maybe he's sick.

In any case, he turns away for a second to place his burdens on the counter. There's little else to do besides wait for the coffee to finish, and resume making his sandwich.]

... If you don't mind me asking, Robin-chan... how long have you two been...? [This next question doesn't come catapulting out of his mouth like the last, but Sanji winces to himself anyway. The hell did this invasiveness come from?]

[Good question...how long had they been together? It feels like it's been forever. But she wonders at the question. Or rather why. Especially as he's not facing her at all. Is it more than just a casual inquiry?]

Hmm. How long... [She thinks] I think our first date was not long after I returned here. So perhaps...almost a year.

[she's been here that long. Almost a whole year and she didn't even notice. She tries to fight off the chill that comes with that thought. There is no need for it. There is nothing she can do about it. And time has no meaning here compared to there, so what does it matter?]

[laskdf;lash whirling on his heel, with his mouth comically flapping--]

Almost a year?! [Holy shit, that long? And he only found out a few months ago!]

Surprising, isnt it? [She can't help but smile at his expression. Her nakama always make the most wonderful faces]

Time just gets away from you.

I guess so... [His expression resets itself into subdued surprise ] I never would've guessed it's been that long.

[Almost an entire year... as far as Luceti relationships go, that's rather successful. It's a thought that leaves behind a faint burn in its wake]

You're... happy, right? [Side-eyeing her, now. It's clear the chef has his own reasons for these questions, that he has yet to share]

[A loaded question...especially since the way he's standing, the way he's watching, seems to mean he's looking for something in her answer. Is it concern for her? Or something she's not aware of? It's not so surprising she doesn't know. Sanji's as secretive in his own way as she is.]

As happy as I can be here. [Because things are never quite that easy are they? She absently tucks the feather away in her pocket and rests her chin on interlaced fingers. She hesitates a moment before asking:]

Is something on your mind?

[Heh, and he receives a loaded answer in return. Sanji smiles fondly anyway. All his internal debating aside, there is something reassuring about hearing Robin speak of her own happiness so honestly.]

I'm glad to hear it.

--Even if there's no way in hell that guy will ever be good enough for our Robin-chan!

[Aaah, there it is. Sorry Robin, just had to get that out of the way.]

[But no worries, he's simmering down again, flattening those ruffled feathers, looking uncertain as he considers how to answer her. He drums his fingers against the counter. Thanks to his prying, Sanji knows he won't be satisfied until he gives Robin something of equal value in return.

He should thank her, really; their conversation months ago still weighs in his heart as a reminder to try harder with this sort of thing, no matter the level of discomfort. It isn't fair to cut his nakama off from his thoughts and feelings.

The question is, what should he say?]

You could say that... [Abruptly, he ceases his finger drumming. The coffee's finished]

I just wondered how it was for other people here... caring about someone like that. [Knowing how brief their happiness might be; having experienced that joy and hurt for himself more than once in this place; wondering if he should try and save someone else's heart this time.]

[Something is weighing on his mind then. Concerning himself, perhaps? It's hard to guess others motivations about anything. Well--easy to guess, difficult to be certain. But she can't help but wonder who his concern is directed toward. Has someone captured his heart? Unless it is Nami (or Vivi, she ammends) they are certainly not good enough for him.

But if it is the case, then that presents a problem. He cares for people differently than she does. Deeper. Or--no perhaps closer. Harder for him to let go? She's not sure the definition but in either case, she thinks about her answer carefully]

It is what it is. Hard and helpless. At any moment Marcchan could be taken or changed or sent home. But it isn't so different back home, ne? The world tears us apart [though Kuma seems so long ago and almost immaterial now] sometimes we come back together and sometimes we can't.

But I suppose that's why we live as happy as we can together in the interim.

[It isn't a concept he's unfamiliar with - living life to the fullest is the sailor's way, after all, when the next day something as simple as a hurricane can snatch everything you've ever loved right out of your hands.

And yet still, he can't shake off the heavy nature of his thoughts: What should you do? Or more importantly, what does he want to do?

He gets so lost in his head that he stops speaking all-together for the moment, going through the motions of making Robin her coffee while he revisits her words.]

[She's not sure what to think about his silence. It seems unusual and she wonders if somehow in trying to make things better, she's made them worse. It wouldn't be the first time unfortunately.]

I'm sorry if that's not what you wanted to hear... [and she is sincere about this. She wishes she could tell him otherwise. Or perhaps say something else more inspiring. But there was nothing she could think of. She can't even say the good outweighs the bad because there seems so much of it.]

[That snaps him out of his reverie. Sanji nearly whips a glop of condensed milk on his suit turning around.]

N-no, Robin-chan! It's not like that! [And then he sighs, shakes his head, looking appropriately guilty] You didn't say anything wrong.

Maaah, I'm just really out of it today.

[Though she doesn't want to be right about this. He does seem out of it. And he has been for a little while at least, from what little she has seen. Somehow she rarely seems to catch him in a peaceful mood. She nods though at the statement]

These kinds of decisions can be difficult.

[Though it wasn't really that difficult in her case. It had been just for fun at first and then...somehow...things had changed. But he is not like her. She has nothing to say that would...would help... and maybe there is nothing... She blossoms a hand from the counter and squeezes his arm, briefly, warmly, wishing there was something she could do so he could at least be happy without suffering so much in the fallout]

[The hand is a surprise, especially from this nakama, but a welcome one. Sanji pauses long enough to give Robin a heartfelt smile.]

Don't worry, I'm alright. [He isn't unhappy; just thoughtful.] It's not even that shitty complicated, either. I just...

[He trails off a little as uncertainty derails his tongue, and stares up at the ceiling. Oddly enough, he isn't that reluctant to share what's on his mind. It's a matter of finding the right words for it.]

... Heh. I've been here too long. All I keep thinking is how hard it is, and how I don't wanna hurt her.

[Oh so there is a her. Robin wants to know who it is. Who it could be. But resists plying him with questions, at least for the moment. At the same time she feels a faint twinge of something like unease but brushes it aside. It's merely the change. Change is always difficult but this is nothing.]

Well I think hurting her is inevitable. [Though she says this warmly and with a faint smile] But as I said...it's the happy times.

[She hesitates a moment, then pushes forward]

Those times where everything else fades away and the world narrows to just two people. Where everything is warm and safe....

[She can't go on. She looks away, somewhat embarrassed by the depth of what she feels, even if it is true.]

If you can live for those times than little else will matter...

[And really, in a place such as this, those times were their greatest strength]

[Inevitable...

Right as she is, Sanji still bows his head. Acceptance of that has always been a hard pill for him to swallow, it's so against his nature. He doesn't want to hurt anyone, least of all someone he might actually...

But then, that's the double-edged sword of love, isn't it? If he can't handle it, maybe there's his answer.

He's about ready to turn around and finish off her drink when Robin continues, and so he stills. And it's like watching someone pull back a heavy curtain, however briefly, and showing you something quiet and brilliant that you've always known to be true but have rarely seen. He stares wide-eyed even while she turns away, a little awed in her presence]

Robin-chan...

Edited 2013-01-14 02:48 (UTC)

... Y'know, I never thought I'd be having a conversation like this with anyone. [Not since Ginko, anyway. There's a smile in his voice.] I'm so used to thinking everything through by myself, it's like I forget what talking out-loud feels like.

[It might seem like an abrupt departure from their current discussion, but Sanji's glad to voice his thoughts this time.]

Thank you; I'll make sure to keep your words in mind.

[... Heh. And maybe he shouldn't give Marco such a hard time, after all. Damn bastard.]

I've been...growing accustomed to them. [Especially with Marco. Sometimes it seems all their conversations come back around to that. Being together. Being apart. Living for the one beautiful moment however long it lasts.

And maybe...some things are worth saying. No matter how hard it is to say them.]

So who is she, Sanji-kun? Anyone I know?

[and now to squeeze the cook dry]

Edited 2013-01-14 03:03 (UTC)

Appointments Post

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