toujoursfluer | Log 007 [video/Action]

Entry tags:

Log 007 [video/Action]

[The video appears on Robin, looking up at her as she is sitting on her windowsill, despite the chill in the air. The wind stirs in her hair before she speaks]

Living here is hard on everyone it seems. People are changed. People flow in, go home, die and are restored. The Malnosso have us forget one another, betray one another, even forget ourselves and yet we live on broken in our own way.

[She glances down at the journal]

But we are all united here. Wether or not we wish to go home or we call this our home. Whether we love or hate it. We all exist for the same reason. For our friends. To find something better. But whether dark or light, living in silence or in grief only divides us. [She remembers broken nakama too much. It is almost too hard to bear sometimes because there is no reason to be]

There should be a place to talk about this. The fears, the joys, the grief...who we miss. Who we are glad have gone. A place without judgement or worrying whether or not you will cause concern. In order to live. In order to survive we must understand one another and we must not be afraid of the truth--whatever that might be.

[She will stare at the journal more as if contemplating what to say, then kills the feed. Then she leaves the window to make her rounds about town and will ultimately end up in the library. She may seem a bit preoccupied but feel free to approach her, and never mind the cat tail, that will be gone soon enough]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I don't mind. [He makes himself comfortable, folding his arms while he stares ahead. He's had time to think about what he wanted to say to her, after she left and didn't come back - and figures he might as well start with what's already been shared]

Have you ever met Xion?

No, I haven't.

[She makes herself comfortable as well, sitting on the counter and pulling the annoying residual tail over her lap. Of course the Malnosso would leave her with a parting gift]

[He pauses for a beat, wondering if their lack of contact will make this easier or harder for him to express. Then he bows his head slightly]

... To me, she's as important as the crew.

[Robin nods. She's as important, and given the conversation it possibly means she died once in a way that hurt him moreso than it would usually. Did he have to kill her, too? The thought makes her look away.]

I see.

What I said before was true - she doesn't have a shitty home to go back to. This is all she gets now.

[Apply that knowledge, with that level of attachment... maybe Robin can at least see where he's going.]

It's not just her, either. I guess I've made... plenty of friends here I wanna protect, when I wasn't looking. [Except it goes beyond that, really, and he pauses again with a faint frown, trying to find the words]

You can't protect everyone. Not from the Malnosso. [She pauses and considers] Not even from the World Government.

[While she doesn't expect anyone to die she knows that it will likely happen. One does not seek everything in the world without losing something, too.]

I know, Robin-chan. [That he doesn't fight her at all is probably another scar of his time in Luceti - or maybe he's always been this pragmatic, and just forgot.] I lost Xion once already - and we knew there was no way to save her.

[He mutters to himself] Lost Vash, Ginko, Miyabi-chan...

[And others, to be sure. Their loved ones could only take consolation in death's revolving door, set up by Luceti.

But that's a little beside the point]

I know in this shitty place, they'll just come back. It doesn't feel like death. [--Even when it does, when it aches exactly like it]

[She has no idea whether she means that they died or they've gone home. In either case, she nods at his words.]

I wonder if that's why it's hard. There is no time to mourn and let go because you know they'll be back to suffer again.

[She stares at him]

But it will happen again. You will care for people. They will be changed, mutilated, die and be revived and until we defeat the Malnosso there is nothing to be done to break it. So it shouldn't break you.

[She gets up and turns away. She's getting angry again though it's foolish because she knows he can't help it]

But it does. And it breaks Nami.

[And then softer]

And I hate to see you so broken.

[Sanji holds himself physically passive against her words, only flinching when Nami is brought up. She's gone, and he's... he's glad for that, but the thought of her is still enough to make him ache for more than one reason.

He takes a moment to breathe and shut his eyes.]

I'm sorry, Robin-chan, for putting you through that. [She came back to her crew in shambles, and for that, he'll never stop being sorry.]

You're right - this shitty place never stops. It'll end up happening again. [he could lose another crew mate.]

... But even still... [His voice is soft] I don't hate it here.

Don't apologize for such a foolish thing.

[She can't help but be short. Putting her through that? As if she was some kind of stranger?

Also she doesn't imagine he does hate it here. Other people have found their place as well. In fact most of who she talks to seem to have found contentment in one form or another and justifiably so. Where else would Luffy and Marco have Ace?]

I suppose that's the difference between you and me. [Though she doesn't mean it in a bad way. It just is.]

Though the next time someone must be killed, whether they are nakama or not, let me do it. It will be quick and painless.

[And while she's grown out of the habit, killing people she had once thought she'd be close to is something she's perfected over the years]

Edited 2012-11-18 05:41 (UTC)

... I shot him in the face, Robin-chan. [There's a quiet note of steel in his voice that he's rarely used before, tempered though it is. His eyes remain closed.]

I know how to do quick and painless, too.

[Good idea. She approves. With someone like Zoro that would probably be the only way to take him down]

But it hurt you, didn't it? You cared too much.

[She's trying to protect you. Can't she at least do that much?]

For that stupid, pigheaded bastard?

[He grits his teeth and almost has to turn away. His chest starts burning]

... Of course I cared.

Of course you did. You care for people. It's in your nature. Loving Luceti is also in your nature. So you shouldn't have to kill things you care about.

[A beat]

I'm too used to death to let it bother me.

And who says Robin-chan will always be there to protect me from that? [The night is long, and Sanji's tired. He matches the woman's frankness.]

And why would I want to let you take that burden for me? [Whether or not that statement is true - he doesn't care, frankly, because he'll never stop believing that it would hurt her all the same, even if she could finish one of her own off without flinching.

That's what it means to love this crew. You don't get to escape unscathed.]

[She wouldn't always be there. Of course not. But if she could just be there enough...and not letting her take the burden... holding it all on himself... Of course he would. Because she is nakama and they protect each other. They protect each other so damn much here that everyone is falling apart.]

Very well. Take it if you want it.

[She sounded colder than she meant to...This isn't going well and she's not sure how to fix it. She sighs. But it's not in her to apologize for something she believes strongly in.

She's already said she doesn't want to see him hurt. But perhaps he thinks he's strong enough. Perhaps that's what makes him strong. She doesn't know. Either way he will do what he must and she is helpless to stop it.]

Just take care.

[She tries to sound less cold but it seems flat to her.]

[... A sigh. He wonders if this is an inappropriate time to smile a little, when some of the stiffness finally leaks from his frame and he opens his eyes. No, this conversation isn't going in any positive places - but then, Sanji knew he would bear some of his soul tonight; he didn't expect it to come without a price and some hardened words.]

No, it'll never be something I want. [A pause, and he shifts in place] It'll just be a shitty burden everyone shares.

[Now he does smile a tiny bit] That's the one thing I had to keep learning here. Most of the damn time I can't do a thing but watch shit go to hell... But just being there helps, sometimes.

[It will never feel like enough, but take what you can.]

[It's not shared. Or maybe it's not shared enough. She can do it. She knows she can. She wants to help protect-- But he doesn't want that. It's like a spiral, a circle, and she appreciates his intention--she does but at the same time--

Being there helps? It doesn't seem like it does. This doesn't feel like helping. Just accepting. Another bend to Luceti. Another way to just cope. But maybe that's what it takes.]

I'm glad it helps.

[Even though it doesn't feel like it. Even if it feels like the more she bends the harder it will be to get back to where she used to be. But it's only temporary, isn't it?]

Hopefully this will be the last of it for a while.

["Hopefully"... Sanji can barely process what that word means anymore, so used to carrying the baggage of ill-fortune and bearing the pain that comes with the weight. Again, he wonders if he was always like that, or if Luceti just taught him how. Either option would probably hurt more than help]

Aah... hopefully. [He echoes the word all the same before glancing up at her uncertainly, unsure if he should shut up already or continue]

Neh, Robin-chan... Will you be staying now...? [He's careful to avoid all reproach in his voice - because there's none to be found in the first place, and he wouldn't blame the woman if she felt uncomfortable in their house still. That's the reason she left, right?

But some of the gloom has cleared. Sanji can better see how far the crew's shattered. Awkward or not, it'd be nice if... more of them stayed around for breakfast]

[That question. It burns her a little because she's been avoiding this place. Because it hurts...but perhaps they can all hurt together. Maybe it's better than hurting alone. Maybe it makes no difference. In either case it's not so much a question it seems as a sort of request]

Mm. I'll be here. We're nakama, ne?

[She tries not to sound as tired as she feels]

[It's the expected answer, even if he regrets maybe having forced her to play that card. That doesn't mean he's not glad to hear it anyway. When he sighs again, it's with relief.]

... Yeah. Nakama. [He parrots her, and to be honest, he wishes he didn't sound so tired either. That's not a word meant to be threaded in low spirits]

I'm gonna make some coffee. [He moves in time with his words, crossing the distance to the oven.] Would you like any?

[He's tired. They all are. She wants to move away and just let it be for now. But she wonders if it would make him feel better to make it for her.

She smiles a little]

Mm. That would be nice.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Log 007 [video/Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action] /wins the super late award

[Action] <3