toujoursfluer (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
toujoursfluer) wrote2012-11-09 04:55 pm
toujoursfluer) wrote2012-11-09 04:55 pm
Entry tags:
Log 007 [video/Action]
[The video appears on Robin, looking up at her as she is sitting on her windowsill, despite the chill in the air. The wind stirs in her hair before she speaks]
Living here is hard on everyone it seems. People are changed. People flow in, go home, die and are restored. The Malnosso have us forget one another, betray one another, even forget ourselves and yet we live on broken in our own way.
[She glances down at the journal]
But we are all united here. Wether or not we wish to go home or we call this our home. Whether we love or hate it. We all exist for the same reason. For our friends. To find something better. But whether dark or light, living in silence or in grief only divides us. [She remembers broken nakama too much. It is almost too hard to bear sometimes because there is no reason to be]
There should be a place to talk about this. The fears, the joys, the grief...who we miss. Who we are glad have gone. A place without judgement or worrying whether or not you will cause concern. In order to live. In order to survive we must understand one another and we must not be afraid of the truth--whatever that might be.
[She will stare at the journal more as if contemplating what to say, then kills the feed. Then she leaves the window to make her rounds about town and will ultimately end up in the library. She may seem a bit preoccupied but feel free to approach her, and never mind the cat tail, that will be gone soon enough]
Living here is hard on everyone it seems. People are changed. People flow in, go home, die and are restored. The Malnosso have us forget one another, betray one another, even forget ourselves and yet we live on broken in our own way.
[She glances down at the journal]
But we are all united here. Wether or not we wish to go home or we call this our home. Whether we love or hate it. We all exist for the same reason. For our friends. To find something better. But whether dark or light, living in silence or in grief only divides us. [She remembers broken nakama too much. It is almost too hard to bear sometimes because there is no reason to be]
There should be a place to talk about this. The fears, the joys, the grief...who we miss. Who we are glad have gone. A place without judgement or worrying whether or not you will cause concern. In order to live. In order to survive we must understand one another and we must not be afraid of the truth--whatever that might be.
[She will stare at the journal more as if contemplating what to say, then kills the feed. Then she leaves the window to make her rounds about town and will ultimately end up in the library. She may seem a bit preoccupied but feel free to approach her, and never mind the cat tail, that will be gone soon enough]
[Action]
[Apply that knowledge, with that level of attachment... maybe Robin can at least see where he's going.]
It's not just her, either. I guess I've made... plenty of friends here I wanna protect, when I wasn't looking. [Except it goes beyond that, really, and he pauses again with a faint frown, trying to find the words]
[Action]
[While she doesn't expect anyone to die she knows that it will likely happen. One does not seek everything in the world without losing something, too.]
[Action]
[He mutters to himself] Lost Vash, Ginko, Miyabi-chan...
[And others, to be sure. Their loved ones could only take consolation in death's revolving door, set up by Luceti.
But that's a little beside the point]
I know in this shitty place, they'll just come back. It doesn't feel like death. [--Even when it does, when it aches exactly like it]
[Action]
I wonder if that's why it's hard. There is no time to mourn and let go because you know they'll be back to suffer again.
[She stares at him]
But it will happen again. You will care for people. They will be changed, mutilated, die and be revived and until we defeat the Malnosso there is nothing to be done to break it. So it shouldn't break you.
[She gets up and turns away. She's getting angry again though it's foolish because she knows he can't help it]
But it does. And it breaks Nami.
[And then softer]
And I hate to see you so broken.
[Action]
He takes a moment to breathe and shut his eyes.]
I'm sorry, Robin-chan, for putting you through that. [She came back to her crew in shambles, and for that, he'll never stop being sorry.]
You're right - this shitty place never stops. It'll end up happening again. [he could lose another crew mate.]
... But even still... [His voice is soft] I don't hate it here.
[Action]
[She can't help but be short. Putting her through that? As if she was some kind of stranger?
Also she doesn't imagine he does hate it here. Other people have found their place as well. In fact most of who she talks to seem to have found contentment in one form or another and justifiably so. Where else would Luffy and Marco have Ace?]
I suppose that's the difference between you and me. [Though she doesn't mean it in a bad way. It just is.]
Though the next time someone must be killed, whether they are nakama or not, let me do it. It will be quick and painless.
[And while she's grown out of the habit, killing people she had once thought she'd be close to is something she's perfected over the years]
[Action]
I know how to do quick and painless, too.
[Action]
But it hurt you, didn't it? You cared too much.
[She's trying to protect you. Can't she at least do that much?]
[Action]
[He grits his teeth and almost has to turn away. His chest starts burning]
... Of course I cared.
[Action]
[A beat]
I'm too used to death to let it bother me.
[Action]
And why would I want to let you take that burden for me? [Whether or not that statement is true - he doesn't care, frankly, because he'll never stop believing that it would hurt her all the same, even if she could finish one of her own off without flinching.
That's what it means to love this crew. You don't get to escape unscathed.]
[Action]
Very well. Take it if you want it.
[She sounded colder than she meant to...This isn't going well and she's not sure how to fix it. She sighs. But it's not in her to apologize for something she believes strongly in.
She's already said she doesn't want to see him hurt. But perhaps he thinks he's strong enough. Perhaps that's what makes him strong. She doesn't know. Either way he will do what he must and she is helpless to stop it.]
Just take care.
[She tries to sound less cold but it seems flat to her.]
[Action]
No, it'll never be something I want. [A pause, and he shifts in place] It'll just be a shitty burden everyone shares.
[Now he does smile a tiny bit] That's the one thing I had to keep learning here. Most of the damn time I can't do a thing but watch shit go to hell... But just being there helps, sometimes.
[It will never feel like enough, but take what you can.]
[Action]
Being there helps? It doesn't seem like it does. This doesn't feel like helping. Just accepting. Another bend to Luceti. Another way to just cope. But maybe that's what it takes.]
I'm glad it helps.
[Even though it doesn't feel like it. Even if it feels like the more she bends the harder it will be to get back to where she used to be. But it's only temporary, isn't it?]
Hopefully this will be the last of it for a while.
[Action]
Aah... hopefully. [He echoes the word all the same before glancing up at her uncertainly, unsure if he should shut up already or continue]
Neh, Robin-chan... Will you be staying now...? [He's careful to avoid all reproach in his voice - because there's none to be found in the first place, and he wouldn't blame the woman if she felt uncomfortable in their house still. That's the reason she left, right?
But some of the gloom has cleared. Sanji can better see how far the crew's shattered. Awkward or not, it'd be nice if... more of them stayed around for breakfast]
[Action]
Mm. I'll be here. We're nakama, ne?
[She tries not to sound as tired as she feels]
[Action] /wins the super late award
... Yeah. Nakama. [He parrots her, and to be honest, he wishes he didn't sound so tired either. That's not a word meant to be threaded in low spirits]
I'm gonna make some coffee. [He moves in time with his words, crossing the distance to the oven.] Would you like any?
[Action] <3
She smiles a little]
Mm. That would be nice.