[He tightens his grip on the mug. Carefully so it'd be impossible to break, but still, quite tight.]
Well, I can't.
I want to. I don't care that that makes me a coward. Ace... Ace is always so mad at me for that. [His shoulders tremble a little and he gulps.] It's not even that I want to be a hero, or that I want to find myself in a position where that would happen. I don't. But still...
[He downs the tea in one gulp and blinks away tears. Fuck. A fist goes to his eyes. Like hell he's gonna cry over something this stupid.]
This is all I can do. I can't die for them. All I can do is live for them. However much it hurts, however much it pains me to see them hurt. However much just living hurts.
["Life is pain, Princess. Anyone who tells you otherwise is selling something." Marco really loves the Princess Bride for the quotes.]
I'm not leaving. [His voice gets less shaky, slowly firmer and more determined as he goes.] I don't want to go home, and nothing and no one can make me. Nothing cures death, but he's alive here. And even if they send him home, I'll do everything to find a way to bring him back.
I'm not asking you to stay. You belong with your nakama, and if you want to go home and they make that a possibility, I want you to be happy, but my nakama is here. I'd die for Ace, but I can't. It just... [He grinds his teeth and and fuck it, he's crying.] It doesn't work that way.
[February 3rd, Action]
Well, I can't.
I want to. I don't care that that makes me a coward. Ace... Ace is always so mad at me for that. [His shoulders tremble a little and he gulps.] It's not even that I want to be a hero, or that I want to find myself in a position where that would happen. I don't. But still...
[He downs the tea in one gulp and blinks away tears. Fuck. A fist goes to his eyes. Like hell he's gonna cry over something this stupid.]
This is all I can do. I can't die for them. All I can do is live for them. However much it hurts, however much it pains me to see them hurt. However much just living hurts.
["Life is pain, Princess. Anyone who tells you otherwise is selling something." Marco really loves the Princess Bride for the quotes.]
I'm not leaving. [His voice gets less shaky, slowly firmer and more determined as he goes.] I don't want to go home, and nothing and no one can make me. Nothing cures death, but he's alive here. And even if they send him home, I'll do everything to find a way to bring him back.
I'm not asking you to stay. You belong with your nakama, and if you want to go home and they make that a possibility, I want you to be happy, but my nakama is here. I'd die for Ace, but I can't. It just... [He grinds his teeth and and fuck it, he's crying.] It doesn't work that way.